Madonna likes to scream

Anal retentive pop singer Madonna says sometimes she just screams her head off to release tension.

She tells British Elle (no doubt in her fake British accent): "I scream a lot! Sometimes I handle (stress) well, sometimes I don't. I take a deep breath or sometimes it's nice to go run really fast on a treadmill for half an hour and get out all of my aggression."

Or maybe just chew up and spit out an unlucky member of the entourage. Same diff.

And, for people who like the watch, the crusty diva herself being a pain in the ass during a VIVA interview:

Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred

Hearsay...

Hideous fash not Jennifer Hudson's fault - Celebitchy
Courtney Love has fash amnesia - Celeb Warship
Lindsay Lohan buys two puppies - Celeb Dog Watcher
Grace Park rated #4 Hottest Nerd Crush - Daily Dumpling
Evangeline Lilly looks cute in Army jacket - Perez Hilton
Olsen twins ban meanies from fash show - Popsugar

Britney Spears just vants to be alone

Pop star Britney Spears, who recently checked into rehab for the third time in a week, is pulling a Greta Garbo, demanding an entire wing to herself at California rehab center, Promises.

The singer doesn't want to be bothered, and is willing to pay for the privilege of having more room to herself.

An insider tells the Sun: "She wants all the rooms on her wing. It will cost her hundreds of thousands (of dollars)."
Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred

Hearsay...

Shakira loves up on Beyoncé - Just Jared
Sophie Monk consoles her sweetie, Benji - I Don't Like You
Paris Hilton drives like fool, faces jail time - Gossip Mama
Kerry Washington wears some drapes - Go Fug Yourself
Maggie Grace's comfy downtime style - Frugal Fashionista

Angelina Jolie has an opinion

Actress Angelina Jolie is as well-known for her charity work as her sexy roles in hit films.

The dedicated do-gooder skipped the Oscars over the weekend to fly to Africa on an emergency peace mission.

She told the Washington Post today just what she thinks, in an op-ed in her role as a goodwill ambassador for the U.N. High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR).

In it, she discusses her time in Chad, and the wide-reaching effects of the violence in Darfur.

Angelina writes:

"Sticking to this side of the Sudanese border is supposed to keep me safe. By every measure -- killings, rapes, the burning and looting of villages -- the violence in Darfur has increased since my last visit, in 2004.

The death toll has passed 200,000; in four years of fighting, Janjaweed militia members have driven 2.5 million people from their homes, including the 26,000 refugees crowded into Oure Cassoni.

Until the killers and their sponsors are prosecuted and punished, violence will continue on a massive scale....What the worst people in the world fear most is justice. That's what we should deliver."

Drop-dead gorgeous and smart as a whip -- is there no justice in this world? It's a travesty, it really is.
Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred

Avril Lavigne would like you to know...

"I've never had so much fun in the studio. I wrote Girlfriend when I was drunk. The chorus was written in two minutes."

- Pop star Avril Lavigne shares her secret on how to write a hit song -- first, get completely loaded...
Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred
Additional WLYTKs

Katherine Heigl walks out of contract talks

Actress Katherine Heigl has dropped salary negotiations with the producers of runaway hit show Grey's Anatomy.

Katherine plays Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens on the show, and is reportedly way pissed that she's getting less of a slice of the profit pie than her co-stars.

A source tells People: "Katie is disappointed and hurt that (TV production company) Touchstone doesn't value her as much as her other co-stars, especially Sandra Oh and Isaiah Washington."

The bitch of it is, she still has to stick with the show, like it or lump it; she signed a long-term contract for the series.

ABC Television released this statement of doom this afternoon: "Katherine is an integral part of Grey's Anatomy and its success. Fortunately, we have a long-term contract to ensure she'll be with the show for several years to come."

Da-da-da-dum.

There's also a hullabaloo on the set because a spin-off series was recently announced, featuring Kate Walsh's character, Dr. Addison Montgomery.


A source blabs to Star, "The rest of the cast seemed instantly resentful of (Walsh). They each thought they'd be the one chosen to get their own show, and now they're giving Kate (shown above) the cold shoulder."

Oh, the drama. They oughta just bust out a few extra cameras and film a spin-off reality show: Grey's Anatomy: The Bitchy Bits. You know you'd watch it.
Kiss, Kiss: Source Source Photo cred Photo cred

Kerry Washington calls off the wedding

Ray star Kerry Washington, who got engaged to boyfriend David Moscow in 2004, is backing out of the wedding.

The 30-year-old actress says she's nervous about getting married, if the marriage won't last a lifetime.

Says Kerry: "My parents are still married and love each other very much and they're an inspiration to me."

In the end, says Kerry, thinking about it for three years -- three years? -- made her come to the conclusion that she just isn't ready to settle down. At least, not with David (shown below, with Kerry).


Says Kerry: "I think I'm really young and I think it's such a personal decision (to get married). It's really about asking yourself, 'What do I really, really want?'"

And, with that, we cue the Spice Girls' viddy, Wannabe. The karaoke version, so knock yourself out. Zig-a-zig-ah:


Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred Photo cred

Jake Gyllenhaal flips over baby poop

Brokeback Mountain star Jake Gyllenhaal wanted to be a good uncle to new niece Ramona, so he offered to change her diaper. And that's when the poo hit the fan.

Jake's sister Maggie gave birth to Ramona in October 2006, and Jake went round to drop off gifts and do a little test run with his niece, to see if he'd make a good dad.

Says Jake: "I'm an uncle. It's great. It's amazing - except for the diaper changing, which I did once and will never go back to again until it is my own child. I wanted to try it out. I wanted to see what it was like."

So, having handed Ramona off to Jake, his sis left the Hollywood star to his own devices.

Says Jake: "So she handed me my niece and I put her down on the changing table and I un-knotted her organic diaper. I really never knew, and I am naive, of course, but I never knew that it was orange. I have a very short gag reflex. So when I saw it (I started gagging)."

Jake, who's quick on his feet, quickly made a brilliant decision: "I (was gagging) and handed her back!"
Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred

Eva Mendes would like you to save a kangaroo

Actress Eva Mendes knows what she likes, and it is not kangaroo tail tops.

The Ghost Rider star says she's sampled a lot of exotic food in her life, and the traditional Aboriginal meal is just not something she's ever going to try again. Not on purpose, anyway.

Eva had a chance to sample the dish while she was in Australia, making new movie Ghost Rider.

Says Eva: "I went to the outback and I met some beautiful Aboriginal women and we went out on a women's day. They said, 'We'll take you and you can share our experience, and you can buy us a beer and some kangaroo tails.' Funnily enough, you can buy both at gas stations out there."

But that wasn't all -- after all, you've gotta have some dessert, right?

Says Eva: "We also had some witchety grubs. They're big, fat worms, basically, that freeze in the branches of trees. They're gooey and fat and big and they were dessert and the kangaroo tails were the dinner. It was the worst thing I'd ever eaten."

And, for people who like to watch, a viddy clip from the writer and producers of Ghost Rider, who talk about casting Eva in the film:


Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred

Ricky Martin mansion up for grabs

Pop star Ricky Martin bought a Miami Beach mansion two years ago (2005) for just a little over $9.9M (GBP5.1M), but he's got it on the market now for $16.9M (GBP8.6M).

Cheeky!

The Mediterranean-inspired mansion has seven bedrooms, eight bathrooms and views over Biscayne Bay.

There's also plenty of room for, whatever, roller skating -- or playing soccer, if you happen to be Robbie Williams.

Ricky's little place in Miami is roughly 9,491-square feet (882 square metres), including a pool and spa. It also comes with its own boat deck.

Ricky's former neighbors include singer Shakira and actor Matt Damon.

Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred

Jessica Simpson: Just never mind about my nose

Actress/singer Jessica Simpson's kid sis Ashlee went in for plastic surgery to slim down her nose, but Jessica says she's completely happy with her bumpy little snout.

Jessica says she loves her nose and would never do anything to get rid of its distinctive bump.

Says Jessica: "I don't know if it's my best, but my favorite feature is my nose. I have a bump on it that I love. It's an imperfection, but that's why I love it."
Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred Photo cred Photo cred

Hollywood madam names names...like Affleck, Willis

There are certainly going to be some interesting discussions chez Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis, tonight.

Hollywood madam Jody Gibson, who served 22 months in jail in 2000 after she was busted for running a house of ill repute -- and a call-out service -- says that Hollywood stars Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck (shown left) were just two of her celeb clients.

In Gibson's new autobiography, Secrets of a Hollywood Super Madam, she dishes the dirt on all kinds of celebs who rang her up when they needed a little...company.


Writes Gibson, on her promo site for the book: "This book is about my life servicing the rich and famous and their sex, sex, sex! From Ben Affleck's steamy night with a hot blonde to Bruce Willis' wild time when the champagne flowed."

Gibson (shown above) also claims that she sent girls out for James Belushi, Naomi Campbell's dad, Gary Busey, late movie producer Don Simpson and former Sex Pistols guitarist Steve Jones.

About the only name Gibson hasn't thrown out there is Hugh Grant, but evidently he was more of a DIY kinda guy, anyway.

Gibson claims that a call girl called Alyssa entertained Ben Affleck in a hotel room Jacuzzi, telling her: "We began in the Jacuzzi had in his room. He loved my titties and went crazy sucking on them."


According to the Los Angeles Times, a review of court records shows that Gibson listed Willis (shown above) as one of her clients, along with Steve Jones, Ben Affleck and LA Dodger baseball manager Tommy Lasorda.

Gibson says, of Willis, that he was a bit greedy -- he ordered not one, but five prostitutes for a party. When Gibson told him to take his pick from her site, he allegedly replied: "I have no time for that. Just pick five hot, young girls and make sure they can."

Bruce is losing no time saving face; he had his attorney Marty Singer dismiss the claims today, saying "The story is a complete fabrication. (Willis) doesn't know this woman. He's never even spoken to her."

Although, of course, that's just what he would say. Since prostitution is illegal in most states of the U.S., it's not something he'd want to broadcast.

Even so, maybe Ben and Bruce are leary about a visit from the vice squad, but it's not the police they need to be worrying about, it's the missus. Well, both of them.

Ben is married to Jennifer Garner, and Bruce was married to Demi Moore around the time Jody Gibson is claiming he rang up for a some party favors just short of a six-pack.

Gibson was tried and sentenced in 2000, Bruce and Demi didn't separate until October, 2000. You do the math.

Incidentally, Bruce and Demi's sudden split cropped up out of the blue, after 13 years of marriage. Coincidence?
Kiss, Kiss: Source Source Source Source Source Source Photo cred Photo cred Photo cred Photo cred

Hearsay...

Matthew McConaughey catches some waves - TMZ
Heather Mills gets ready to dance - Rumorficial
Bald Britney doll sold for $180 and change - The DarkHat
Get a reality show gig - Barbie Martini
Brad Pitt's mum babysits the grandkids - DListed
Nicole Richie looking at engagement rings - Derek Hail
Rose McGowan channels Teri Hatcher - Go Fug Yourself

But also...
Jessica Biel at Paris Fashion Week - I'm Not Obsessed
Lindsay Lohan gets the shakes - Hollywood Tuna
Britney gets rehab advice from Baldwin bro - Heckler Spray
Pamela Anderson gives up her Uggs - Gone Hollywood
Helen Mirren in tears over posh frock - A Socialite's Life

Jim Carrey, a born romantic

It's no joke -- putty-faced comic Jim Carrey has a sensitive side. No, really. He's spending his spare time writing sensitive love ballads for lover Jenny McCarthy.

The funnyman recently wrote a love song for his booberific actress/comedian honey, especially for Valentine's Day.

Says Jim: "It kind of goes like this: 'Take it off, get it on, take it off, get it on, take it off, get it on, take it off, get it on, take it off, get it on.' I'm getting together with Kanye West. I think it's going to be a good one."

Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred

Matt Damon would like you to know...

"I had been an uncle. It turns out when they cry, you can't just give them back. It's actually your kid, you have to figure it out."

- Actor Matt Damon, on being a new dad.

Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred
Additional WLYTKs

Scarlett Johansson skips glitz for charity work

Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were no-shows at the Oscars this weekend.

Brad Pitt stayed at their new home in New Orleans to look after the kiddies, while partner Angelina flew to Africa on a humanitarian peace mission to Darfur.

It turns out that blonde bombshell Scarlett Johansson, also noticeably absent from the red carpet, was on a mercy mission of her own.

Scarlett skipped the glamor of all those Oscar parties this sunday, to visit Sri Lanka and India on a charity project.

The young starlet, 22, is spending 10 days in the South Asia region as part of a trip organized by international aid agency Oxfam. Her trip will help raise media awareness of Oxfam's work in the region.


Says Oxfam executive director Jeremy Hobbs: "By supporting Oxfam, Scarlett is taking a stand alongside millions of people globally who are working to overcome poverty. Her support is crucial in helping to show how the smallest donation to Oxfam can mean the world of difference to a poor community."

The soft-hearted actress also recently donated a prize she won at a Superbowl party, free rent for a year on a $2.2M (GBP$1.1M) flat in Miami, to the Miami Children's Hospital, so that parents visiting their sick kids can have a nice place to stay.

Honestly, we think about Angelina -- who regularly donates a third of her earnings to charity -- and Scarlett's dedication to making a difference, vs. self-absorbed, useless twits like hotel heiress Paris Hilton, and it's like they're not even on the same planet.

Although, of course, self-absorbed rich twits do make for better copy. So, they kind of serve some purpose, in exchange for all that oxygen they use up. Sort of.
Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred Photo cred

Fashion police DWI arrest: Sally Kirkland

The charge: Dressing while intoxicated (DWI)
Suspect: Actress, yoga addict and sometime spiritual leader Sally Kirkland
Was probably going for: Fun! Colorful! Wacky!

It's not her fault that: She looks like she just beamed in from planet Crayola. Alternatively, she flew in, on a slow night chez Ringling Bros.

Extenuating circumstances: She was born on Halloween, so maybe she wants to celebrate it all year round.

But: She was on the red carpet at the Oscars, for pete's sake, not warming up the audience as the opening circus act in Vegas for Siegfried & Roy.

The verdict: Busted.

Kiss, Kiss: Source Source/Photo cred
More DWIs

Naomi Campbell sticks up for Britney Spears

Looney tune supermodel Naomi Campbell, who beats people with cell phones and that sort of thing, is actually trying to be nice to someone, for a change.

She says she understands what troubled pop singer Britney Spears is going through, because she's been through emotional freakouts from being too famous, too.

Says Naomi: "I'm very sad. I feel big compassion for her. You need to cut yourself off from the outside world and you need to focus and it is scary to want to dig up, dig in and look inside, but... it's worth it."

She also recently spoke up about her own five-years cocaine addiction, for which she went to rehab in 2001, and swears that she'll never go through that again.


Says Naomi: "I first took drugs when I was 24. I was at a concert in a European country and I was offered cocaine. It made me feel invincible -- like I could conquer the world. I was just completely over-confident. But it's all just a misconception because when you wake up the next day it's all gone and you feel awful."

Kiss, Kiss: Source Source Photo cred Photo cred

Paris Hilton is slightly obsessed with herself

A party guest at celebutante Paris Hilton's birthday party reports that her Los Angeles home is plastered from wall to wall with thousands of pictures -- of Paris Hilton.

Her entire home is a shrine to her very favorite person in the world: Paris Hilton.

"Her house is crazy," says the source. "She has a stripper pole in her living room and pictures of herself everywhere -- big black-and-white blowups, and her covers all framed on the wall."

Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred

Helen Mirren just wants to curl up with a good book

Best Actress winner Helen Mirren looked gorgeous on the red carpet at the Academy Awards over the weekend -- but onlookers were a little startled to see Mirren stripping down after the show.

Helen wore more than GBP2M ($3.9M) worth of jewelry for the Vanity Fair after-party, on loan from Chopard.

At the end of the night, guards retrieved the 55-carat diamond bracelet, 16-carat diamond cluster earrings and a 62-carat brooch that had been stitched to her Christian Lacroix frock, to prevent it from falling off and being lost during the night.


The regal Helen confesses that even though her loaned jewelry and custom-made Christian Lacroix dress made her feel like a queen, it was all just a bit much.

Says Helen: "I really do feel like a Queen -- or fairy princess or fairy godmother. I love it. [But] all I want to do is curl up with a hot water bottle, read a book and then go to sleep."
Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred Photo cred

Hearsay...

Jennifer Aniston runs around in bikini - Egotastic
Mandy Moore skips Oscars to shoot film - Faded Youth
Scarlett Johansson visits India - Gossip Mama
Rumor: Anna Nicole had lupus - I'm Not Obsessed
Lindsay Lohan out of rehab, back out partying - The Skinny
Jenna morphs into 'rexic Barbie - I Don't Like You...
Great crochet looks - Lady Licorice

But also...
Posh goes blonde - Perez Hilton
Olsen Twins twig it about in Paris - DListed
Actress pulls a Britney - Daily Dumpling
Health warning issued to celebs at SI party - Celeb Nation
Report: Britney Spears' post-partum depression - TMZ
New Lily Allen podcast - Hot Stuff Files
Rapper Foxy Brown still a public nuisance - A Socialite's Life

Naomi Campbell beatings will be televised

Volatile kook Naomi Campbell is set to star in an MTV reality show.

A film crew will follow her around while she goes on the quest to find a new personal assistant. Good luck!

The supermodel has a reputation for being temperamental and occasionally violent, so the ratings are sure to be astonishing, if she manages to find someone crazy enough to take on the job.

A source says: "Naomi is famous for her spats with staff, so the idea is to try to have some fun and capitalize on the situation. Plus, it's TV work, which Naomi hopes will lead to acting jobs."

Well, dunno. It might just as easily lead to a jail sentence. Naomi's last six assistants have quit because they couldn't deal with her tantrums and violent temper.

Naomi's been accused of assault by at least two of her former PAs, and accused of physical and emotional attacks on another one, after she reportedly threatened to toss the PA in front of a car.

In her last legal go-round to face charges of assault, Naomi was forced to attend anger management classes. She's probably already really thrilled about that -- so this'll really be fun. Suit up a few candidates in riot gear and start chucking 'em in.
Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred

Eva Mendes wanted to be a nun

Latina bombshell Eva Mendes didn't want to be an actress -- her original plan, as a child, was to become a nun.

Eva was ready to pledge her allegiance to the Almighty, until she discovered this one tiny glitch in her divine plan.

Says Eva: "It was something I really wanted to do. But then my sister told me, 'You know, Eva, nuns don't get paid.' And I said, 'Forget it!'"
Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred

Tom Cruise sets sights on becoming movie mogul

Actor Tom Cruise is a man with a plan.

After getting tossed out the door of Paramount Pictures by Viacom chairman Sumner Redstone after a profitable 14-year business relationship, Tom is getting ready to settle the score -- by creating a competing studio powerhouse.

Tom is reportedly close to raising enough money to bring United Artists back to life.

According to the Los Angeles Times, Cruise and his producing partner Paula Wagner, have raised nearly all of the $500 million that it will take to finance upcoming films for the now dormant UA; 65% of the studio is owned MGM, and Cruise and Wagner own the rest.

The paper reports that the money is streaming in from a group of Wall Street investors led by Merrill Lynch. The first film to roll off the assembly line would be political drama, Lions for Lambs, starring Tom Cruise and Meryl Streep, and directed by Robert Redford.

The movie is budgeted for a measly $35M, but Tom, Robert and Meryl agreed to defer most of their upfront fees in exchange for a bigger cut of the gross less production and marketing costs.
Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred

Harry Potter mates climb out window to escape fans

Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe is starring in a London production of controversial play Equus, and it's causing a few unexpected complications.

The 17-year-old Daniel strips down naked every night on stage, and ever since the play opened, he's been chased around by female fans. Which sounds great, in theory, but it's all fun and games until someone gets trampled in the crush.

Anyway, the inevitable happened, and police had to be called out to disperse a huge blob of fans blocking up Rupert Street outside the theater last night. Unfortunately, the stars were still in the building.

Daniel (shown left) was bundled up and tossed into a waiting car by security staff, but his castmates, Jenny Agutter (shown above) and Richard Griffiths, had no other escape route, and they had to fend for themselves.

So they did the sensible thing and climbed out of a bathroom window. Like the Beatles song, just in reverse.

They both made it out okay, although it was a little tough on Richard, who's a bit plump.

Says producer David Pugh: "Richard and Jenny had to get out through the side window by the box office on Rupert Street. You try to get Richard Griffiths out of a back window. It was a bit touch and go."

Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred Photo cred

Cough and Portia de Rossi will snap in half

Dear Ellen DeGeneres: Please throw your girlfriend Portia a few burgers -- or veggie tofu burgers, whatever -- before one of her arms snaps off.

You guys have a few bucks, what's the problem? Is there no food in California?

Seriously. Get some meat on her bones before people start to talk, like you keep her locked up in a dungeon or something. Cheerio.
Kiss, Kiss: Photo cred

Stars dazzle on Oscar night with fab frocks

Sticking with the theory that life is simply too short to look at ugly dresses, we have a crafty plan for our lovely readers.

We're going to skip over the Nots rundown of ghastly frocks making an eyesore of themselves on the red carpet at the Academy Awards, and just look at some adorable Hots fashion picks made by sensible women.

We were lamenting only the other day that some irresponsible celebs show up in just anything, and who wants to look at that?

Whereas French actress Marion Cotillard swooped into a film festival in the middle of a desert not so long ago, like a gorgeous cool glass of water, and you can see the results here.

And, thankfully, some celebs still do know how to snap their fingers and conjure up a little glamor.


Exhibit number one: Rachel Weisz (shown above), who looked every inch a movie star in a sleek but sexy oyster satin, adding just enough sparkle to look glam, without looking tacky. The necklace was a little much, but no one was looking at that, anyway.

Cate Blanchett is also no doubt grateful she didn't look a fool; her simple sheath in a matte silver-grey clung in all the right places.

Also, she's no slouch, literally -- her fashion choices are nearly always impeccable, but she also knows one of the trickiest secrets to looking like a piece of heaven that fell to earth -- she's standing up straight. Yeah. That simple. Genius nearly always is.


With the right attitude and posture, you can carry off damn near anything. With a $15K designer sack on your back and a droopy slouch, you'll look like something that just rolled off the garbage truck. Truth.

Need proof? Just look at her. Doesn't matter whether the dress is an Armani or something she picked up in a bargain basement -- Cate's style is nearly always 15% what she's wearing, and 85% how she wears it. So, voila. This is how you wear a dress on the red carpet. She could be dressed in a burlap sack and she'd still be a goddess.


Which brings us to Kate Winslet, who's also in on the same secret. The dress itself, nothing special. The clean lines and classical style look good on her; there's nothing fussy or distracting about the dress, and it suits her coloring.

It's just that it's sort of blah, because of the so-so color. But look how she's wearing it. We're totally sold on the dress, not because of the dress itself, but with how Kate's using her body line to create the quintessential glamor girl silhouette.

She's posing her little heart out, and it works. Now imagine she'd picked a more interesting color -- she'd be ace. Still. Close enough.


Reese Witherspoon went for a short frock at the Golden Globes, and it didn't do that much for her. It was yellow, too, so she looked like a dab of butter. Whereas this deep blue gown with artfully cut layers, a lighter froth of violet for contrast and a simple bodice looks so good on her we could die.

Notice she doesn't have her girls dangling hither, thither and yon or about to pop free. The dress is modestly cut and full-length, yet she looks so hot she could burn a hole right through the carpet. She looks fantastic. Humma-humma. Her soon-to-be ex Ryan Philippe is kicking himself in the ass as we speak.


Then we have Penélope Cruz, who sure in hell knows how to make an entrance. She went for frothy and feminine, and completely over-the-top glamor. Hell, it's even pink. Pastel pink. All that frou-frou. And maybe it's a bit much. But we'll take it.

What you can't immediately tell from the sized-down pic is that the woman in the background is actually making bug eyes about Pen's dress.

'Scuse us, sister, but Cruz looks gorgeous, even if the froth's a bit much, and the bottom of the dress does look lamentably somewhat like a chicken that needs a good plucking. And yet...

And yet Cruz still looks fantastic, whereas you, random finger-pointer, look like a lumpy bag of clothes dropped off at the local Goodwill. So quit it. Jealousy is an ugly thing. And it's even uglier in magenta.

Lastly, the ever-lovely Helen Mirren, who took home a Best Actress Oscar for her lead role in The Queen. She happens to be wearing Christian Lacroix, but that's neither here nor there.

Nothing noteworthy to say about her choice of frock, because she's also one of those people who could carry off nothing but a towel or a paper bag, with a completely straight face -- and somehow, mysteriously, still manage to look completely divine.


So, she's grabbing a spot in the Oscar fash roundup more by virtue of her curious fashion accessory. We know she's British. She knows she's British. The Queen of England, presumably, knows Helen is British, because Helen's meant to be having tea with her any day now. Just when, well, that hasn't been decided yet.

Which is puzzling, in itself. They can't figure out a day to get together and have some tea? It's tea. Hot water, some leaves, two cups. They're not building a rocket to send to the moon. But, to continue...

Then...why the flag? It's like she's singing to herself: If you're happy and you know it, wave a flag. But, as noted, it is Helen Mirren. So she can do what she likes.
Kiss, Kiss: Photo cred Photo cred Photo cred Photo cred Photo cred Photo cred Photo cred

Additional Oscar fash coverage

Armani pre-party:
Mischa Barton, Katie Holmes, Ziyi Zhang, Anne Hathaway, Josh Hartnett, Natalie Portman, Dita Von Teese, Leonardo DiCaprio, Helen Mirren, Cate Blanchett - Faded Youth

Red carpet arrivals:
Cameron Diaz, Naomi Watts, J.Lo, Gwyneth Paltrow and Jessica Biel - Haute Gossip
Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt, Eva Green and Jodie Foster - Egotastic
Portia de Rossi, Maggie Gyllenhaal and James McAvoy - Faded Youth
Kirsten Dunst, Nicole Kidman, Jada Pinkett Smith and Helen Mirren - I'm Not Obsessed

Vanity Fair party:
Guy Ritchie and Madonna - Pool Party
Zooey Deschanel, Natalie Portman, Rose McGowan - Barbie Martini
Michelle Rodriguez, Lucy Liu, Liv Tyler, Linda Evangelista, Chloe Sevigny, Ellen Pompeo, Portia de Rossi, Victoria Beckham, Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, Naomi Campbell, Ziyi Zhang, Tyra Banks - Faded Youth

Elton John after-party:
Dita Von Teese, Tara Reid, Maria Menounos - Barbie Martini
Rinko Kikuchi, Gael García Bernal, Rachel Weisz - Faded Youth

Christina Ricci's plan to ditch Hollywood

Actress Christina Ricci says she was going to quit acting for good if she didn't get the lead role in her new film, Black Snake Moan.

Ricci was getting fed up with rounds and rounds of auditions, and says that if she didn't impress director Craig Brewster at the audition for Black Snake Moan, she was just gonna quit acting for good.

Says Christina: "I told my therapist, if I didn't get the part I was going to quit. What I meant was that it so seemed like what I should be doing that, if I didn't get it, I would have no idea of what it was that people wanted me to be doing in this industry and what I was supposed to be doing."

And we have no idea what it was that she just said. But never mind, because her audition for the role of nymphomaniac Rae (shown below) blew her competition out of the water.


Ricci, whose breakout role was starring as morbid, ghoulish little Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family, was cheerful about the startling impression she made on Brewster at the audition, saying: "Nobody can freak out quite like me!"

She also got her freak on with Justin Timberlake in the film, and, for people who like to watch, the fantastically boring viddy of the sex scene. Which clocks in at just under a minute. Not that there's anything wrong with that. In a movie. But what were they doing on a windowsill anyway, watering the house plants?


Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred Photo cred

Kirsten Dunst is a worry wart

Actress Kirsten Dunst looked composed and relaxed on the red carpet (shown below), but for nosy snoops behind the scenes, they got an earful of Kirsten worrying about the most ridiculous things on earth.

After she made a visit to the ladies room and returned to the theater, she kept tugging on her dress. Then she told a friend: "I don’t want to spill water on this dress or you can see through it."

Then she started in on her nerves about going up on stage later on to present the Academy Award for Best Screenplay.

"I want to get this over with so I can go relax," she said to her friend. "I can't f*ck up my speech. I am presenting Best Screenplay and it will be career suicide if I f*ck it up! I really need water. I just want to get out of here already!"


Gawd, when and if she gets around to settling down with someone off the merry-go-round of lads she's been seeing lately, she's gonna be a treat to live with, for sure: Did we leave the gas on? What if global warming melts all the icebergs and we drown? And what if I'm wearing a see-through dress at the time?

I'm supposed to make this speech next year, but what if I f*ck up? I'm so nervous. Maybe I should drink some water. Do you have any water? Did we get enough water? What if there's a water shortage five years from now and we don't have enough? Maybe we should buy a few gallons...

But what if I get papped at the store, but accidentally I have toilet paper stuck to my shoe and all these pix go out of me looking like an idiot? Okay, forget the water. No, but wait, what if I choke? We should have some water, because if we have fish for lunch, it might go down the wrong way and I'll choke on a fish bone. Okay, water, just -- you go get it. I'll wait in the car.


No, wait. What if I'm sitting in the car and there's a carjacker? Okay, maybe we'll just skip the water, we'll get it at the restaurant. Oh, no! What if they're out of water? I just know they're gonna be out of water. No, it'll be okay, I just hope I don't see anyone I know because I just know I'm getting a pimple.

But did we leave the gas on? I'm sure we did...What if someone lights a match? Go back, go back! But not that fast. Because we might crash.
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Separated at birth: Daniel Radcliffe and Elijah Wood

Daniel Radcliffe: Best known for playing Harry Potter; playing Harry Potter made him a multi-millionaire before the age of 18; Aishwarya Rai and Scarlett Johansson are two of his favorite actors; has two dogs, Binka and Nugget; dad was a literary agent, mum was a casting agent; mum is Jewish, dad is a Protestant; didn't like the Harry Potter books when he first read them; would like to own a pet owl; had his portrait done for Britain's National Portrait Gallery, at the age of 14; is a fan of Gary Oldman; supports a children's hospice charity; his favorite film is 12 Angry Men; Jane's Addiction is one of his favorite bands; acted in The Tailor of Panama, but never saw the movie; attended an all-boys school; likes indie music; plays bass guitar; currently starring in a London stage production of Equus.

And, for people who like to watch, a TV interview with Daniel on A Current Affair:







Elijah Wood: Born in the same hometown as Ashton Kutcher; ancestry is English, Irish, German and Polish; plays piano; childhood nickname was Spark Plug; is an Aquarius; lives in Venice Beach, California; was a child actor; favorite food is fried artichoke hearts dipped in ranch dressing; has a tattoo (the number 9, in Elvish); favorite movie is Harvey; most well-known for playing Frodo Baggins in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, co-starred with Orlando Bloom, Liv Tyler and Viggo Mortensen; Smashing Pumpkins is his favorite band; owns his own record label, Simian Records.

And, for people who like to watch, a trailer for one of Elijah's post-LOTR films; a rather brilliant flick called Paris, je t'aime, also starring Fanny Ardant, Willem Dafoe, Natalie Portman, Rufus Sewell, Steve Buscemi, Juliette Binoche, Emily Mortimer and Gaspard Ulliel; directed by Tom Tykwer, the Coen Brothers, and featuring another busload of famous faces and filmmakers.

Just...everybody. Doing interesting stuff. And they're all in Paris, so that's another plus, right there. The movie is really roughly 18 short vignettes, all connected by the theme of love, so there's sort of one for everybody. Elijah plays a tourist who falls in love with a vampire.



Plus a bonus viddy of snippets from Elijah's interview about the film, so you can hear him speaking French. Kinda:


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George Clooney would like you to know...

"I would walk on it (set) and all of a sudden there would be, like, a million babies, crying and stuff and I said, 'They should do the trailer for the movie just panning through all these babies crying and me with a Jack Daniel's.'"

- Eternal bachelor George Clooney found that having his co-stars Brad Pitt and Matt Damon's respective boobahs on the set of Ocean's Thirteen was just a bit nerve-wracking.
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Additional WLYTKs

Hearsay...

Brooke Shields out with baby Grier - I'm Not Obsessed
Eva Green goes goth on red carpet - Go Fug Yourself
Posh and Becks reality show greenlit - Faded Youth
Gwen Stefani on the Charlotte Church Show - Celeb Warship

But also...
Helen Mirren skips undies for Oscar night - Just Jared
Katie Holmes wanders, on Cruise control - Celebrity Nation
Helen Mirren's Oscar win for The Queen - Merry Royals
Antonella Barba: Nudie pix not mine - Pop Crunch
Anna Nicole's corpse still cooling its heels - TMZ

Anna Nicole's Bahamas mansion goes on the block

South Carolina real estate mogul G. Ben Thompson is selling off Anna Nicole Smith's home in the Bahamas.

Former Playboy Playmate and pin-up girl Anna Nicole died earlier this month, at the age of 39.

She'd been living in Thompson's mansion for the past year; a fight came up about the property while Anna was living there -- Thompson said he'd sold it to her, but Anna said she'd assumed it was a gift. As you do.

Thompson bought the estate in October 2006 for $950K (GBP487), but reportedly hopes that the flood of publicity about Anna's death will bring in ten times that.

Anna's lawyer and co-habitor while she was working on her tan, Howard K. Stern, reportedly told sources that he expects the mansion to sell for $10M (GBP5.1M).

Unless maybe he picks up a few extra clams auctioning off Anna's personal stuff, you know, like her hair brushes, low-cal drinks, yogurt and little bottles of methadone, baby Dannielynn...
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Britney Spears' first ex blabs his head off

Seriously, where does singer Britney Spears find these guys?

The last time, it was temp boyfriend Isaac Cohen singing like a bird; now Britney's first ex-husband is chatting away to the tabloids like he's gonna die tomorrow.

Jason Alexander and Britney Spears were childhood friends, and when they grew up, they went and got hitched in Vegas for, oh, 72 hours. Britney later had the marriage annulled.

And now that Britney's dumped the second hubby, shaved her head completely bald, and bounced in and out of rehab three times in less than a week, Jason's coming forward to dish it about her drug use. Because he's so concerned. He even says so. See?

Says Jason: "I have never said anything about Britney and drugs before but I am very, very concerned about her. She needs help. I don't want to see her life come to an end. I am really worried that she will wind up like Anna Nicole Smith and be found dead."


Britney's latest freak-out -- she bashed a pap's car with an umbrella; green, if that matters or you really just want all the details -- is Jason's reason for talking to the tabs.

Back in 2003, they hung out together all the time, and he says that her luxe lifestyle got out of hand. On Christmas 2003, Britney wanted to ring in 2004 with Jason, so she invited him to fly out to Las Vegas to party with her.

Jason was cabbed over to a private airfield in New Orleans, then whisked away to the Palms Hotel in Vegas. But during a night of clubbing on New Year's Eve, Britney nearly OD'd on ecstasy -- and Jason says he saved her life.

Jason remembers it this way: "I think we took too much. We were taking capsules with pure MDMA inside. It wasn't pressed up into a tablet. It was the purest of the pure. I am a pretty big guy and at the time I was weighing 220lb and was extremely fit.

"We took two of those things. And it knocked my d*ck in the dirt. Then it hit her and it hit her hard. In that situation, your body temperature heats up and you can die. She was sweating and overheating and her breathing was getting real slow. Other people were panicking. But we got her out the back and up to the suite."

And then Jason kind of improvised: "I took her into the bathroom and threw her into the shower. She was unconscious. She tripped and fell. I was trying to hold her up and speak to her. She wasn't moving. It scared me. I was f*cked up too and tripping out."

All was going swimmingly, until he lost his grip on the drenched, unconscious childhood pal.

Says Jason: I couldn't hold her up in the shower she was so f*cked up. She slipped and hit her head on the shower. i remember looking down at her all crumpled in the tub with the water coming down. She looked so white and lifeless I thought she was dead. I thought, 'This bitch is going to f*cking die right here in front of me.'"

Aw. So sweet. Just like Romeo and Juliet, except with ecstasy. And yet, the bitch didn't die -- she sobered up enough to stumble into a 24/7 Vegas chapel for a quickie wedding to her good buddy.

Then she divorced him, took up with one of her back-up dancers, Kevin Federline, a.k.a. K-Fed (shown above), tried to help him launch his own singing career, popped out two babies, then ditched him, too, went out drinking, shaved her head, got some tattoos, hit rehab, checked out, then oops, she did it again, and so the downward spiral went.

Don't feel bad -- she's in rehab now. Unless she made another midnight run at the Promises treatment center, too. Because you never can tell.

Aha, but back to Jason and how the soon-to-be newlyweds spent their New Years Eve holiday à deux: "We wore out everybody with us and they went back to the hotel. Soon it was just me, Britney and some of her back-up dancers who were with her. Eventually we ended up back in the room where the party continued. Britney stripped down and was dancing naked on the table with a bunch of her dancers."

Says Jason: "They were squeezing her tits and ass. I was sitting off to the side, buzzed and watching it all go down. But later on I saw Britney walk back to one of the bedrooms with one of the female dancers."

When Britney (shown above, kissing Madonna onstage during a performance in 2003) didn't come back within a few minutes, the intrepid Jason got up to investigate the mysterious incident.

Says Jason: "When she didn't come out in about five minutes, I got up to investigate. The door was unlocked so, of course, I had to open it."

And?

"Every guy I know would love to see some buck-naked bitches going at it and that is exactly what was behind door number one. It was like winning the sex lotto. Britney and this girl were having some lesbian fun, so I did what every other straight guy would do --I dropped my pants and hopped right into the middle of it and enjoyed every second. It was definitely a New Year's Day to remember."

Ah, memories.

Says Jason: "I was totally in love with her and I knew she felt the same. It's not like falling in love with a stranger you picked up a couple of weeks ago. We'd known each other since pre-school. It was the last night we were in Vegas and we spent it in the suite, making love and talking. "

What Jason (shown above, dishing Britney stories with Shar Jackson, who's the baby mama of two of K-Fed's children) remembers most about his 72-hour marriage to his childhood pal, apart from being blitzed out of their heads and having spontaneous threesomes, is that Britney complained about how everyone used her, often for their own purposes.

Says Jason: "She talked about the stresses of being Britney Spears -- how everybody wants a piece of her."

You don't say.

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Eddie Murphy is a big baby

Lord, what a weeper Eddie Murphy is. He was so pissed that he lost his Best Supporting Actor Oscar to co-nom Alan Arkin, that he pitched a fit and vanished into the night.

The Dreamgirls star so annoyed he didn't get a little gold-plated statue that he grabbed his girlfriend Tracey Edmonds and left the show.

He didn't stick around to congratulate Dreamgirls co-star Jennifer Hudson, who won a Best Supporting Actress statue for her very first film role.

Well, maybe that's why Eddie as a little pissy. But to look at it through a squinted eye, Jen was the youngster on the block, hence she got the award, and Alan Arkin's kind of pushing 80. So, figure they had to give him the award this year, in case he drops dead.


So, big deal. There's always next year. Jennifer Hudson and co-stars Beyoncé Knowles and Anoki Noni Rose (shown above, with Eddie, in Dreamgirls) performed songs from the film, but he missed those, too.

Although, having heard them for months on end while filming, maybe he was completely fed up with hearing And I Am Telling You, I'm Not Going...and went.

And, for people who like to watch, Jennifer Hudson's shaky Oscar acceptance speech (below), and the Beyoncé Knowles viddy for Dreamgirls song, One Night Only.



Also, two quick links to performances of the same song by Jennifer Hudson, and Jennifer Holliday, who originated the role back in the 1980s:

Jennifer Holliday vs. Jennifer Hudson

We won't tell anyone if you bust your bootie shaking it about to Beyoncé Knowles' disco remix (below) of One Night Only. Swear. Just don't hurt yourself.



And since we're on this disco groove thing anyway, honey, let's go all the way -- here's a clip of Shake Your Groove thing from Nia Vardalos' flick, Connie and Carla.
Go on and shake your groove thing. Oh, yes, you wanna:

The Olsen twins can spare a dime

Just when you needed a little good news, what you get instead is the scoop that two tweenies barely out of high school are raking in so much dough that they could go buy their own island. Nay, their own country.

Fraternal twin sisters Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen are number one on the new Forbes magazine list of Hollywood's Top Earning Stars Under 21.

The 20-year-old actresses and entrepreneurs earned an estimated $40M (GBP20.5M) in 2006. They didn't earn that wad through their acting career, either -- the used their loot to launch Dualstar Entertainment, which takes in a bundle of retail sales on all kinds of Olsen-branded stuff.

The shy twins are so mega-rich, they even bumped Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe off the top of the list. Poor Daniel only earned $13M (GBP6M) last year. There's just one catch -- he can't get his hands on the loot until his 18th birthday this July.


Harry Potter creator J.K. Rowling (shown below), in the meantime, made Forbes list of the richest women in entertainment. Her Harry Potter books made her a billionaire. Rowling is, in fact, richer than the Queen of England.

Which isn't all that impressive, granted, since going around being a queen isn't good for bucks these days, but still, it's something you can tell yourself when you're having a bad day.


That is, if there actually are any bad days for author billionaires. Like maybe her favorite shopping emporium ran out of Brie, or she got a parking ticket that morning.

No sweat. She could just sit there and console herself with: Ha! Bugger that, who cares -- I'm richer than the Queen of England! And then pat her forehead with a few hundred-dollar bills drenched in Chanel No. 5. Or GBPs. Whatever. To reiterate, she's a billionaire.

Rehab-lovin' actress Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes and pint-sized Dakota Fanning also made the top five. Dakota Fanning, who is, in fact, all of 12 years old. See? You shouldn't read the news -- it really is too depressing.
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Gwyneth does a little online shopping

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow did her Oscar dress shopping the easy way -- she lay around watching fashion TV, when a model strutted down the catwalk in a Zac Posen gown.


Says Gwyneth: "I was in bed watching his runway show and thought it was nice."

Celebrity mum Gwyneth wasn't up for a trek to pick through racks, so she just went to poke around online, until she spotted the dress she wanted (shown above).

Admits Gwyneth: "I found it on the Internet."
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Dolly Parton would like you to know...

"The only time you'd ever get me out of the house without make-up or being dressed is if my husband has had a heart attack."

- Singer/actress Dolly Parton comments on her undying dedication to fashion, make-up and hair wigs.

Oh, and her husband. If he had a heart attack, she'd be right there with him, just, you know, in something chic. Possibly with sequins.
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Additional WLYTKs

Hearsay...

Two Hilary Duffs, in black and white - Hot Stuff Files
Anastacia at the Armani Oscar party - Celebrity Smack
Hugh Grant's plastic surgery fetish - Plasticized
J.K. Rowling sues eBay for leaked books - Gossip Mama
Britney Spears vs. the paparazzi - Gallery of the Absurd

But also...
Sharon Stone gets a Razzie - Heckler Spray
Get Cameron Diaz' low-key style - Frugal Fashionista
Paris Hilton buddy acts like a drunken ass - DListed
Chippendales jailed for pelvic thrusts - Pool Party
Baby Shiloh has a mohawk - Celebrity Baby Scoop

Angelina skips Oscars, flies to Africa

Actress Angelia Jolie skipped the Academy Awards this weekend to touch down in Africa as a United Nations Goodwill Ambassador.

Angelina left her three kiddies with partner Brad Pitt in New Orleans, and traveled solo to the refugee camps along the border of Chad and Sudan.

Pitt's absence was startling, because his high-profile film Babel was up for a Best Picture Oscar, and he co-produced The Departed, which cleaned up.

Angelina's sudden mercy dash is meant to focus media attention on the humanitarian crisis in the Darfur region of Sudan. Or maybe she just couldn't find anything she wanted to wear.
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Amy Winehouse: A drinker with a singing problem

Jazz singer Amy Winehouse interrupted her own sultry performance at a London gig at the Brixton Academy to 'fess up a little something -- that she was drunk as a skunk.

The woozy Rehab singer stopped in the middle of a song to slur delicately: "When I look at the ceiling, I'm sweating." And then stumbled back into the song.

The unexpected hic left the audience wondering what was going on, because, tanked up or not, Amy can hold her liquor and she'd been pitch-perfect all night.

Says a fan: "No one knew what she was on about. But her show was so good we didn't care."

Apparently she likes the drink -- on both sides of the Atlantic. At the Elle Style Awards on V-Day, she was spotted with a bunch of cuts and scars on her arm. Her rep said, helpfully, that the new cuts were due to Amy stumbling all over the streets of New York City.


Just in case you'd like a drinking tip from Winehouse -- and who better? -- her fave cocktail is a Rickstasy (three parts vodka, one part Southern Comfort, one part banana liqueur, and one part Baileys).

Says Amy: "By the time you’ve had two of them you’re like, don’t even try and go anywhere. Sit down and stay down, until the birds start singing."

Ah, yes. Good times. And, for people who like to watch, a short viddy of Amy's live performance of Back to Black, from the Brit Awards nom show:


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Liz wants a goat for her wedding. Or maybe a piglet.

Actress Liz Hurley's getting hitched next weekend, yet the dress code still hasn't been worked out, but whatever, that's all fine and dandy -- as long as you bring her some livestock.

Liz is asking her wedding guests not only to wear saris and turbans, but also to bring some farm animals along as a gift, because she wants to fill up her 400-acre farm in Gloucestershire.

Actress Nicole Kidman was saying just the other day that she fancies running away from it all to go make goat cheese, and so why not Liz?

Says Liz: "It's the best thing I've ever done. It's the only place I want to be. When we get our organic status we're going to farm properly and we're going to have a herd of cows and proper sheep and proper chickens, and we're going to have Gloucestershire Old Spot pigs. Arun thought I was joking when he saw me slither into my Wellington boots!"

Aha, but she wasn't.
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Five-minute fashion: Winter weekend at the beach

Top: Pin-close cardigan with wide ribbing for comfort and style; form-fitting but casual.
$24.99

Bottom: Longer skirt in a comfy cotton/nylon blend in a neutral beige.
$29.99


Accessories
Beach bag: Cute suede tote with hardware and separate pockets for phone or keys.
$14.99



Swaps
Bottom: Cotton/nylon drawstring pants with a beach crop; comfy and casual.
$24.99


Top: Warm lambswool sweater with asymmetric collar.
$24.99

Get it all it: LaRedoute

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Hugh Grant gets handcuffed by weirdo fan

Now that Hugh Grant's dumped billionaire heiress Jemima Khan, he's back on the market -- and one fan wants to hook up with him.

Like, she really, really wanted to hook up with him; she handcuffed herself to the actor at the Amsterdam premiere of his film, Music and Lyrics.

The actor freaked just a bit late last night when journalist Cielke Sijben, who got into the premiere with press credentials from Dutch TV network 101 TV, jumped out of the crowd as Hugh walked up the red carpet at the Amsterdam Pathe, and clamped a metal handcuff around his wrist, attaching herself to him.

The weirded-out star had to stand there like lamppost for 10 minutes while police detained Sijben and firefighters were called to cut him loose.

After the cuffs were cut off, the 46-year-old actor calmly returned to his red-carpet duties, while Sijben was arrested and carted off by the police.

An eyewitness says: "It was incredible. She appeared from nowhere and Grant couldn't believe it was happening. But he was the ultimate professional. He just stood in silence and waited for the firefighters to free him. He did look relieved when he disappeared into the theatre -- she could have been a maniac."

You mean she wasn't? Oh, a dangerous maniac. We see.

And here we have Hugh and the looney tune, herself, along with a somewhat manic news report at the end. Well. You know -- Amsterdam. All that toking up in the news bureau.

Although it's hard to say what's funnier; the nutter and her shrieking buddy, or Hugh's preternaturally calm, stiff upper lip reaction:

Hugh: "Have you got a key?"
Sijben: "No."
Hugh: "Oh, I see. All right."



In other Hugh news, he says he was once offered the lead role on the new Doctor Who series, and turned it down. The part went to Christoper Eccleston.

Now that the show's become one of the best things on the BBC (or on the Sci Fi channel, in the U.S.), he's angling for a guest-starring role as a villain, since, as he notes, "I'd prefer to be a baddie. They're always more fun."

And, for those who like to watch, the brill Christopher Eccleston in two clips from separate episodes in his first season role as the peripatetic Doctor. The second clip is from Eccleston's last episode, The Parting of the Ways:



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Hearsay...

Antonella Barba pix scandal blows up - The Bastardly
Lily Allen is really, really annoying - Rad Report
Tom Brady, Gisele Bundchen in Milan - Bricks and Stones
LiLo: Out of rehab, into her hooker pumps - Pop Crunch
Eva Green arrives at LAX for Oscar weekend - Just Jared
Drew has a hike and a smoke in Hawaii - Popsugar

But also...
Keanu Reeves kisses another guy - Faded Youth
Orlando Bloom's raging bedhead - Go Fug Yourself
Britney Spears' mum visits the tater tots - Gossip Mama
Get Rachel Bilson's low-key look - Frugal Fashionista
Tom Brady, Gisele Bundchen run around Paris - Gabsmash
Neve Campbell's new short 'do - DListed

Idol producers to launch teen performance camp

The producers of America Idol are creating Idol Camp, a performing summer camp for teens, in Northfield, MA.

Mark Brittain, who heads up the hit show, had this to say: "Utilizing the power of the American Idol phenomenon, we can provide a truly one-of-a-kind experience."

Teen performers will be trained by surprise celebrity guest performing artists and former American Idol contestants (like Jennifer Hudson, shown left).

Producers also said that the camp won't require an audition, but neither will it be a quick ticket into the TV competition.

Y'know, there might already be enough camps like this; someone even made a movie based on one. See? Fame in the forest:


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Fashion police DWI arrest: Jennifer Lopez

The charge: Dressing while intoxicated (DWI)
Suspect: Singer Jennifer Lopez
Was probably going for: Hippie chic and/or urban gypsy + a little twist of Miami cool
It's not her fault that: She looks like she's wearing a wadded-up roll of toilet paper, taped on with a big white Band-Aid. Skirt too short; sleeves too poofy; proportions completely buggered up, she looks ghastly. Also, her hair is just lying there on her head like a shag rug. Nothing works. She got those legs waxed for nothing.

Extenuating circumstances: The heat? BFF/Stylist Posh trapped in the water closet and thusly unable to advise her against walking out in this under-the-sink rag duster?

But: If she's gonna act like a diva, then, goddamn, better back that shit up by dressing like a diva. Not like a drum majorette on her first school outing, wearing something she ran up on her last Girl Scout Jamboree using gauze from the first aid kit or an old dishrag, while blindfolded.

Dear J.Lo: Do yourself a huge favor -- get Catherine Zeta-Jones and Halle Berry on speed-dial and then use those digits. Thank you. That is all.

The verdict: Busted.

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More DWIs

Leo DiCaprio doesn't mess around

When there's something he wants, actor Leonardo DiCaprio sure does know how to get it.

He was so committed to making cult movie Romeo + Juliet, that he paid his own way to Australia and worked for free, just to convince 20th Century Fox execs to back the film.

DiCaprio took the nearly daylong flight from LA to Australia to join director Baz Luhrmann and shoot some promotional scenes for the movie to help sell the film idea. It worked, and the gritty update of Shakespeare's tale of star-crossed lovers made Leo a star.

Says Baz, of Leo's early focus on getting Romeo + Juliet made: "People don't realize Leonardo had to come to Australia for no money. He wasn't paid." The film was eventually made on location in Mexico.

Leo went out on a limb a year later, too, accepting the co-lead in Titanic, since a lot of movie industry insiders predicted it would be a bomb -- it was a runaway hit.

And, for people who like to watch, here's Leo, acting his little heart out in the death scene from Romeo + Juliet:


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Hearsay...

Anna Nicole's lesbian gal pal speaks up - DListed
Naomi Campbell dating a new guy - Celebrity Nation
John Mayer still so cryptic - Faded Youth
Lily Allen, Lady Sovereign have words - Heckler Spray
J.Lo, hubby do matching clothing thing - I'm Not Obsessed
Sienna names fash line after her b-day - Just Jared

But also...
Kate Beckinsale does a little shopping - Popsugar
Katherine Heigl looks cute on runway - The Bastardly
Stefani's baby Kingston: A sentimental story - Gabsmash
Janet Jackson's wonky boob job - Hollywood Tuna
James Brown buried, widow with friends - Gossip Mama

Lost co-creator keen to snap up rights to King novel

Lost co-creator J.J. Abrams is in negotiations to acquire the rights to The Dark Tower, by best-selling horror writer Stephen King.

King (shown left) hasn't been willing to let Hollywood get its hands on the property, but he's reportedly a huge fan of desert island drama Lost, so J.J. Abrams might have an in with the reclusive author.
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Pop singer in critical condition after random shooting

Cambodian pop star Pov Panhapich is in critical condition after being gunned down at a publicity event.

Pov was shot in the stomach and throat and later evacuated to Vietnam for treatment, city police chief Touch Naruth reports.

Says Naruth: "When she got out of her car, the two offenders immediately shot her. It is not a robbery case, it is some other dispute. But we cannot conclude what the dispute stemmed from. We are investigating."

The 23-year-old singer is one of the most popular young entertainers in Cambodia, and news of the near-fatal shooting spread like wildfire through SMS text messages and phone calls between shocked fans.

Being a pop star isn't all it's cracked up to be, at least in Cambodia. Pov's mystery shooting isn't the first act of violence against celebs in that country; she's the third celeb to be shot in recen years.

Singer Touch Sreynich remains paralyzed after being shot in the face and neck in 2003, while movie star Pisith Pilika was shot dead in 1999.
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K-Fed visits Britney in rehab

Pop singer Britney Spears and estranged hubby Kevin Federline, a.k.a. K-Fed, are still fighting over custody of their two baby sons, but K-Fed called a temporary truce to check up on Britney.

The singer has checked herself into rehab for the third time, and K-Fed is reportedly worried about his one-time wife, dropping by at the Promises treatment center in Malibu, California for 90 minutes to talk to her.

A friend of Federline's says: "Britney scared everyone pretty bad. Kevin is worried that's for sure. Kevin just wants her to be OK."
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Samuel L. Jackson becomes a blues man

Snakes on a Plane actor Samuel L. Jackson worked so hard to learn how to play guitar for his role as a washed-up blues guitarist in new film Black Snake Moan, that he's given up golf to spend more time plucking the strings.

And the way it all happened was...oddly serendipitous.

Says Jackson: "I was backstage at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony watching U2 perform and this voice comes up behind me and says, 'You should play a bluesman in a movie. Let me teach you how to play guitar.' It was Felicia Collins. At that time I hadn't even heard about Black Snake Moan, so I kind of laughed and said, 'Yeah right.' She gave me her numbers and then I got Black Snake the next week."

Felicia Collins is part of the house band on the late-night talk show, The Late Show With David Letterman. Jackson went to the Academy Awards and found a gift Gibson was part of his swag, so he started to get the hint -- maybe it was time for him to learn a few blues riffs.

Says Jackson: "I went to the Academy Awards, and, in the gift basket, there was a Gibson studio model guitar to order, that they make for you. I had the guitar made and came back to New York and Felicia became my guitar teacher."



Along with Felicia Collins, Jackson also picked up hands-on tips from Black Snake Moan's prop master, who just happened to be a guitar virtuoso.

By the time filming wrapped, Samuel was a bona fide ax man. Golf fanatic Jackson was so focused on playing guitar that he forgot all about going out the the links, and now he's given up hitting the greens for laying down new riffs.

Says Jackson: "I had no guitars when I started, and now I have seven, so I pretty much run around with a guitar everywhere I go."
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The crying judge wants a TV show

Florida judge Larry Seidlin, who recently decided on custody of the remains of Anna Nicole Smith (shown left) is reportedly angling for his own TV show.

The Broward County, Florida circuit court judge has in fact had already produced a demo tape showing him presiding in other cases, according to a report by gossip site TMZ.

On Thursday, Seidlin's voice shook and tears rolled down his cheeks as he ruled that custody of Anna's embalmed body should go to Richard Milstein, an attorney appointed to represent the interests of Anna's surviving child, baby Dannielynn.

Former Playboy pin-up girl Anna Nicole died earlier this month, in a sixth-floor hotel room in Florida.

Gary Ostrow, a defense attorney who's been best buddies with Judge Seidlin (shown left) for 20 years, swears that Seidlin wasn't just hamming it up for the camera.

"This is what he's like at all times," says Gary. "As long as he gets the job done and gives the right ruling, it doesn't matter...More judges should have his temperament. It makes court a lot less boring."

In other Anna news, the paternity case over Dannielynn is underway.

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Hell, no, she won't go

Former soap opera villainess Brenda Dickson, who played the original Jill Foster Abbott on The Young and the Restless, has been caught up in a real-life soap opera.

Starting out in soaps after winning a beauty pageant, Brenda quickly won the hearts of viewers as the best all-around villainess, playing a crafty schemer on the long-running soap.

But she reportedly got too big for her britches, and CBS bosses showed her the door. Brenda's crest of fame starring in the daytime drama from 1973-1980 waned after her ax from the show, and lasted only long enough for her to put together an unintentionally campy vanity video production called Welcome to My Home:



She married lawyer Jan Weinberg and retired from acting, until the marriage broke up, and the 58-year-old former actress was left with no money.

The bitter divorce started out unfriendly and got nastier. Brenda's original settlement, which would have left her a Los Angeles apartment worth $1.37M and $14,000 per month in spousal support from her ex-hubby, was put aside by part-time Family Court District Judge Darryl Choy.


Judge Choy, apparently not a fan of Brenda's, ordered that Dickson would get zip on the alimony request, and that the condominium should be sold, with the proceeds to be divided between Brenda and her ex-husband.

And that's when the former actress dug in her heels. She shacked up in the LA condominium and refused to budge.

Said Brenda: "This judge has left me penniless. He wants me to go on the street and be homeless. It's utterly and completely outrageous."

Well, Judge Choy was having none of that, and he issued a bench warrant to have Brenda thrown in the chokey. And so she went, on February 6. Then she appeared before the judge a day after her arrest, and again refused to vacate the apartment. Plop. Back behind bars.

Brenda refused to have her photo taken at the prison, saying it would undermine her image -- and that's how you know a dyed-in-the-wool soap opera diva -- but showed up in a freshly pressed green prison uniform to chat with the local paper.

"For me as an actress, I was sort of soaking it all in, to be honest with you," she told The Advertiser. "To be locked up with these girls is unbelievable and also very humbling...Even more degrading, it's just the idea you don't have any shampoo or body lotion. The towels look like rags. I mean, this is prison."

The ever-helpful Brenda helped the girls with beauty tips, and signed autographs, until she was recently sprung from the big house.

Even that particular court appearance wasn't without high drama; Brenda took the opportunity to tell Judge Choy and the press in the room that the divorce settlement was a "fraud," and then mocked her ex-hubby's lawyer Charles Kleintop with a Nazi salute, saying "Heil Hitler. Third Reich."

But, eventually, she did agree to call her lawyers in California and tell them to withdraw court papers blocking the sale of the condo. She signed an affidavit, swearing under oath to vacate the condo and assist in its sale.

So, that's all settled. Until next time...

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Nicole Kidman just wants to go be a farmer

Multi-millionaire actress Nicole Kidman says she's had it with the rush of Hollywood life; all she wants to do is go buy a farm somewhere.

The actress, who's one of the highest-earning women in the business, says she and hubby Keith Urban are planning to buy a farm in Nashville, Tennessee and live the simple life.

Says Nic: "It's a great town and it's actually been a great place for me to go and just be myself. We're gonna get a farm and I really want a goat...just to possibly contribute to helping me make goat's cheese, which is my favorite cheese."

Make your own goat cheese. Bah. That'll be the day. Seriously, that's what Whole Foods and other greeno grocers are for; veggies you've never heard of, frou-frou sprout juice, an entire Third World country's worth of grain -- and three bazillion kinds of goat cheese. And most of them deliver.

Or, yes, you could make it by hand. What fun that will be. And who's going to milk this speculative goat at 5 a.m., anyway? Keith?
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Hearsay...

Reports: Liz Hurley getting hitched in palace - ICYDK
Prince Harry goes to Iraq - Merry Royals
Katie Holmes, Suri Cruise sighting at LAX - Ninja Dude
Kate Moss buys cold cuts, smiles for paps - The Skinny
Daniel Radcliffe over-exposed in nude pix - The Superficial

But also...
Jessica Simpson gets some java - TMZ
Mischa Barton smokes a fattie - Celeb Warship
Drew celebrates b-day in Hawaii - Bricks and Stones
Sienna Miller in a black mood - Breakfast at Tiffany's
Amanda Peet pops out a rugrat - Barbie Martini

The only thing we have to fear is-- aagh, a spider!

What gives you the serious b-b-beebie-jeebies? The dark? Flying? Creepy-crawlies? Do you get vertigo in platform heels?

Everyone's a little weirded out by something, and celebrities are no exception. So, here's a little peek at the stuff that makes the stars want to run away screaming:

Macaulay Culkin is agoraphobic, it's the fear of open spaces. In fact, he gets panic attacks when forced to leave his New York City apartment. So when he says he prefers a cozy night at home, he literally means just that.

Other celebs who'd rather stay shacked up at home than face the big bad world -- sex symbols Kim Basinger and Daryl Hannah.

Flower child Drew Barrymore, on the other hand, suffers from acute claustrophobia. She's the kind of girl who'd get nervous being in an elevator for more than a minute.

Leggy blonde goddess Uma Thurman (shown right) is no better with confined spaces -- they terrify her. When she had to be buried alive in Kill Bill 2, she says she found the experience "horrific."

Michelle Pfeiffer also had to face one of her worst fears during the filming of What Lies Beneath. The curvy actress suffers from hydrophobia -- the fear of water.

She did a pretty good job keeping her nerve while filming the end sequences of the film, in which she was dragged underwater by movie hubby Harrison Ford.

Former Baywatch star Carmen Electra (shown left), who played a sexy lifeguard on the show, ironically can't swim and hates water.

So did screen legend Natalie Wood. She had a fear of water, and her fears were justified -- she died in an accidental drowning.

One of the most common phobias is fear of flying, and tons of celebs aren't immune to a little pre-flight nerves.

Jennifer Aniston prefers not to fly, if there's any other option. Other aviophobes include tough guys Muhammad Ali and Colin Farrell, comic Whoopi Goldberg, singers Cher and Aretha Franklin, and celebutante Jade Jagger.

When Jade Jagger made a nuisance of herself with a drunken party through the first-class section on a recent flight to New York, she claimed she was only drinking like a fish to calm her jittery nerves, because she's terrified of flying.

There are lots of people who hate creepy-crawlies, including Hollywood bombshell Scarlett Johansson (shown right). She doesn't have a problem with spiders, though, just cockroaches, because she woke up with one crawling across her face once.

Singer Justin Timberlake, on the other hand, doesn't do so well around spiders. He's also reportedly scared of sharks, snakes and dying unloved. Aw.

Also not fans of spiders -- glamor model Nell McAndrew, Harry Potter star Rupert Grint, who has flat-out arachnophobia, and tennis champ Andre Agassi.

Actor Liam Neeson has a fear of heights, as does Spider-Man star Tobey Maguire, so filming that particular flick was probably no walk in the park for Tobey.

There are plenty of people who get the spooks around desolate places, maybe thinking about all those things that go bump in the night.

Buffy star Sarah Michelle Gellar, for one, has a phobia about graveyards. Novelist Anne Rice (shown left), a best-selling writer who's written dozens of books about vampires and other creepy characters, is terrified of the dark. As indeed she should be, if she has that much of an overactive imagination.

Actor Keanu Reeves hates the dark, too, and singer Madonna gets the serious jeebies during thunderstorms; she has brontophobia -- a fear of thunder.

A fear of needles is a pretty common phobia; one shared by JC Chasez, a former member of boy band 'N Sync. He's so afraid of needles that he won't even get a tattoo -- he's the only one in the band who doesn't have one.

Soccer star David Beckham could become the poster boy for neat freaks everywhere. Perfectionist David has ataxophobia -- a fear of disorder. He color-coordinates the clothes in his closet and lines up objects in precise order.

Some people are afraid of dogs, or cats, but actor Andy Lau (shown right) is afraid of rats; he can't even stand looking at Mickey Mouse on television.

Lanky actor Orlando Bloom, meanwhile, is terrified of pigs, which seems sort of arbitrary. And you won't get country singer and Julia Roberts ex Lyle Lovett anywhere near a cow. Ever since he was mauled by a bull on his ranch in 2002, he hates them with a passion.

Ozzy Osbourne brat Kelly Osbourne (shown left) has no problem with cows, she just can't stand people.

She flinches when people touch her, according to brother Jack, especially if they touch her collarbone. He even says she dry-retched once, when someone tried to touch her.

Some phobias are there are birth, but some develop through bad experiences.

Actor Malcolm McDowell, for one, has a phobia about using eyedrops, ever since he made A Clockwork Orange in 1971. And Christopher Walken hates being driven too fast in cars; he's constantly telling drivers to slow down.

Whereas Angelina Jolie ex Billy Bob Thornton and director Woody Allen were just born neurotic. Billy Bob, for one, has aviophobia, chromophobia (the fear of bright colors) and a fear of antique furniture. He won't say his kids' names out loud, either, because the fates might curse them.

Woody, in the meantime, who married ex-wife Mia Farrow's adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn, suffers from a lifelong morbid fear of insects, sunshine, dogs, children, heights, small rooms and crowds.

Pamela Anderson (shown right) doesn't like mirrors, which might make some kind of sense since her career depends on her looks, but there are a few other celebs with some far-out phobias.

Tough guy actor Matthew McConaughey is afraid of revolving doors and tunnels, while talk show host Oprah Winfrey is afraid of chewing gum, a phobia she says she developed in childhood.

Sigmund Freud, the father of weirdo psychiatry, reportedly had a morbid fear of ferns, while film director Alfred Hitchcock had no problem with birds -- he was just afraid of their eggs. He had ovaphobia, and wouldn't eat eggs unless they were mixed into an omelet.

Liza Minnelli's ex-husband David Gest has phonophobia -- a fear of using telephones or hearing his own voice, but he's kind of creepy, in any case.

So was buzz artist Andy Warhol, who had a morbid fear of hospitals, although he spent time in one after being shot by groupie Valerie Solanas, and eventually died in one.

Singer Rachel Stevens from former pop group S Club 7 is scared of toilet booths with no windows, and hates locking doors.

Actress Nicole Kidman (shown above left) has a fear of acting, which is certainly inconvenient, while indie actress Christina Ricci, whose dad was a primal scream therapist, has an assorted batch of interesting fears; she's scared of ghosts, gerbils and house plants (botanophobia), and has an offbeat phobia about sharks -- she's afraid that a shark might swim through a hatch into the swimming pool.

Although, given that she was born just five years after Jaws came out, she probably saw the movie when she was in diapers, and we can kind of see how that might've morphed into such a bizarre fear. That damn shark kept popping up out of nowhere. Why not in a swimming pool? Ragh!

Lastly, know those t-shirts that say: Can't sleep, clown(s) will eat me.?

You don't? Well, they're very hilarious...unless you're terrified of clowns, and then it's not hilarious at all.

Like eccentric actor Johnny Depp (shown right), who actually is afraid of clowns.

Says Johnny: "There's something about the painted face and the fake smile. There seems to be a darkness lurking under the surface, a potential for real evil."

He's also not that keen on spiders or ghosts, but his main glitch is fear of clowns, a.k.a. coulrophobia. Can you believe there's actually a name for it?

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Pete Wentz would like you to know...

"I'm attracted to creative people and train wrecks, and there's no shortage of that in Los Angeles."

- Emo singer Pete Wentz, currently snogging it up with Demi Moore's daughter, Rumer Willis.
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Britney Spears wigs out on paparazzi

A noticeably tense Britney Spears looked upset when paps started taking pictures of her while her handler tried to fill up at a gas station.

Her friend tried to tell paps to leave the pop singer alone, but Brit finally snapped, got out of her car, and bashed the pap's SUV, yelling "F*ck you! F*ck yourself!"

And then drove away. As you do. Here's the viddy:


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Nicole Richie and Joel Madden go on tour together

Pop punk singer Joel Madden is putting his romance with celebutante Nicole Richie to the test, and taking her on the road with him.

Joel has already told his bandmates and twin brother Benji that there's no way he's leaving Nicole behind when they go out on tour later this year.

Says a pal: "Joel and Nicole discussed the idea of being apart while he toured and weren't looking forward to it. Being cramped in a bus is far from ideal, but they want to do it. Nic's really looking forward to it."

Just like Jessica Simpson and John Mayer, the two will have plenty of time to snog it up while they hit city after city on tour dates. And that's all very sweet, if a bit mad; go for it, you crazy kids. Bon voyage.

All we have to say is that considering Nic's in hot water over a DUI for driving up the wrong freeway lane while loaded off her head -- don't let her drive.
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50 Cent: Britney's crazy

While celebrity pals Justin Timberlake and Gwen Stefani are backing up Britney Spears and her new bald look, rapper 50 Cent thinks the pop singer has lost her mind.

Says 50: "She's crazy. Why would she do that?"

Meanwhile, former Britney boyfriend, music producer J.R. Rotem, defends the troubled singer, saying "I support her 100% in whatever makes her happy. Britney is beautiful, inside and out."
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Donald Trump: Bury me on my golf course

Real estate developer Donald Trump is already sorting out his funeral plans -- he wants to be buried on the ground of his golf course in New Jersey.

He's reportedly building a wedding chapel at the 525-acre Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, which he'll later convert into a mausoleum for himself and his family.

The cranky real estate mogul and The Apprentice star has already filed a planning application with the Bedminster Planning Board; a decision on the offbeat request is expected next month.
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Charlotte Church bans birthday gifts

Multi-millionaire singer/TV presenter Charlotte Church has told hunky boyfriend Gavin Henson not to buy her anything special for her 21st birthday.

She refuses to let her rugby star sweetie pamper her with prezzies, saying she's rich enough to buy herself anything anything she wants, so it's not worth the bother.

Says Charlotte: "I told him not to go nuts with my birthday presents...anything I want, I can buy for myself."
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Anna Nicole's mum: Protect baby Dannie

Anna Nicole Smith's estranged mother Virgie Arthur says she fears for her granddaughter's life while the baby is in the custody of Anna's lawyer and companion, Howard K. Stern.

Said Virgie, in an emotional turn on the witness stand in court on Feb. 21: "I knew she (Anna Nicole) would be next. My grandson did not overdose. Howard was there when he died, and Howard was there when my daughter died. And he has my granddaughter now and it is not even his child. I'm afraid for her life as well. Please help us."

Virgie, Stern, and Larry Birkhead, who claims he's the father of Anna's baby Dannielynn, took a break from court to attend a private viewing of Anna's decomposing body in a Florida morgue, before she's shipped to the Bahamas to be laid to rest next to her son, Daniel Smith.

Anna's body was wrapped in a dress, and she was wearing make-up for the viewing.

Anna Nicole Smith died in a Florida hotel room on Feb. 8, at age 39. As you no doubt have heard. Her out-of-date will, signed in 2001, left her entire estate to her son, Daniel Smith (shown above), who died in the Bahamas in September 2006.
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Celebrity babywatch: Baby #2 for White Stripes singer

The White Stripes lead singer Jack White is going to be a second-time dad. White and his wife, British model Karen Elson, have been married for two years. They already have a ten-month-old daughter, Scarlett.
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Rachel Bilson got sex advice from her mum

Actress Rachel Bilson says it was a double-edged sword having a mum who was a sex therapist. But mostly, it kind of helped.

Rachel says she wasn't able to hide any relationship problems from her mum, because somehow, by osmosis, her mum just seemed to know what was going on.

Says Rachel: "My mom's a sex therapist, so she's great at talking about relationships. She knew the day after I lost my virginity. Oh, yeah. She started talking to me about sex. She said, 'It happened last night, didn't it?' I was like, 'How did you do that?' She did the whole mom thing, of course, 'Use condoms, etc.' Weird, but helpful."
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Jonathan Rhys-Meyers would like you to know...

"I met this girl one night and she was like, 'Why can't I get a guy that looks like Brad Pitt?' And I turned to her and said, 'You gotta look like f*ckin' Angelina Jolie. So put down the gin and tonic and start going to the gym!'"

- Actor Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, obviously not one to mince words with whingers.
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Additional WLYTKs

Billie Piper has interesting problems

Former singer and Doctor Who star Billie Piper would like to share a tip with other actresses who find themselves stuck in corsets for period dramas.

She's finally discovered a way to pee while wearing tons of silk, cotton, buttons and lace -- and a corset.

The 24-year-old recently had to wear a 19th century costume for a TV adaptation of Jane Austen's Mansfield Park, and she found that toilet breaks were really tricky...until...

Gushes Billie: "I've got a technique now about how you pee in a corset. You straddle the loo. You kind of climb over it and have the dress fall behind you. You pee the same way that a guy would. It works really well."

And, for people who like to watch, an FMV for Billie's tearjerking last episode of Doctor Who, Doomsday:

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More Interesting problems

Madonna locks her daughter up

Pop singer Madonna, who cashed in on her sex appeal to create a career, is worried that her daughter Lourdes might start bringing boys home at an early age, so she's forbidding her 10-year-old from dating until she's at least 18.

A somewhat hypocritical stance from the Material Girl, but mama believes she knows best.

She's also a believer in tough love, saying that her hubby Guy Ritchie (shown below) spoils the kids, but she's not having any of that.

Says Madge: "No boys for her until she turns 18. She's a good girl, though. She doesn't have it easy. Late night TV, junk food and mess are not tolerated in my house."


Lourdes is Madge's first child, with fitness trailer Carlos Leon. She also has a son with Ritchie, Rocco, and is an adoptive mummy dearest to Malawian toddler, David Banda.
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Helen Mirren: It's good to be the queen

Actress Helen Mirren is really cheerful about her future epitaph, because she says now she'll get a great write-up.

The regal actress played British royal Queen Elizabeth II in drama The Queen, and says it's a much more high-profile role for her than her turn as TV detective Jane Tennison on Prime Suspect.

Mirren has already won a SAG and a Golden Globe for her portrayal of the monarch; she's hoping the role will bag her an Oscar, before she's done.

Says Helen: "I used to think that if I was knocked over by a bus, the next day's papers would say: 'Jane Tennison dies!' Now I think it would be: 'Helen Mirren, who played the Queen, died.' I'll be identified with that role for a while until, hopefully, I do something else as good."
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Patricia Field goes for cheap and chic

Eccentric fash designer and celeb stylist Patricia Field, who dressed the girls on Sex and the City in Jimmy Choos and Manolo Blahniks, is getting ready to strut the red carpet in a pair of decidedly less pricey heels.

Field is an Oscar nominee for Best Costume Design for her flawless designer picks in The Devil Wears Prada, but the fashion rebel is going her own way with her top style pick for the event.

Says Field: "I'm going to be wearing a pair of Payless shoes. Oh, they're gorgeous. They're metallic snake in a couple of different colors, gold and silver."

See? Cheap but chic is sexy and smart, ladies!
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Jessica Simpson donates van to orphanage

Singer Jessica Simpson has a new fan in Mexico; Mama Lupita, who runs the Casa Hogar Elim orphanage in Nuevo Laredo, is getting an unexpected gift from the pop star.

"Last week, someone asked Mama Lupita if she could use a van at the orphanage," a source tells People. "Mama Lupita said, 'Of course we could use it.'"

Then, says the source, "...she was told that she was getting a brand new seven-passenger van from Jessica Simpson for the orphanage. She started to cry for three minutes straight and then said, 'I can't wait to give Jessica a big hug.'"

Jessica won a Chrysler Crossfire sports car during a swag drawing for the luxe auto at the VMAs, but decided not to keep the roadster -- instead, she asked Chrysler to exchange it for a minivan.

A Chrysler rep confirms: "Instead of the Chrysler Crossfire, she decided to get a minivan for the orphanage instead. She went for the Chrysler Town and Country."

The van will be delivered early next month.

In related celeb do-gooder news, Hollywood bombshell Scarlett Johansson was shocked when she won a top swag prize at a Superbowl party in Miami -- free rent for a year on a $2.2M Miami condo.

The soft-hearted starlet immediately donated the gift to the Miami Children's Hospital, so that parents visiting their kids could have a nice place to stay.
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Report: Britney Spears on suicide watch

Pop star Britney Spears has bounced back into rehab for the third time, after two tries at staying in a rehab bed before checking out within 24 hours. She's reportedly giving it one last try, at Malibu, California treatment center Promises.

Britney's dad, Jamie Spears, says that he and Britney's mum Lynn are "concerned about our daughter," whom he described as "a sick little girl."

Spears' manager also spoke to the press today, but gave out no other info on the singer, other than to confirm that Brit has returned to the Promises rehab facility in Malibu.

In the meantime, reports are surfacing that her stay in rehab is not only important in helping her get control of her life again -- it might even save her life.

Britney was reportedly so worried about losing her kids to estranged hubby K-Fed that she tried to kill herself last week.

After shaving all her hair off at a Tarzana, California salon, the pop superstar attempted suicide by walking into oncoming traffic.

Sources tell the National Enquirer that Spears got hysterical over K-Fed's threats to take her baby sons away. After Britney shaved herself bald and got two new tattoos, she was taken home by family, and friends were asked to keep an eye out for Britney if she left home to visit them.

Says the source: "Sometime during the night, she escaped and tried to walk into oncoming traffic before her staff could pull her to safety. Clearly, she wanted to end her life. Her family immediately put her on suicide watch."
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Brad Pitt worried about lover Angelina

Hollywood hunk Brad Pitt is reportedly very worried about lover Angelina Jolie.

The mother of three was devastated by her mother's death last month, and now she's not eating.

The 5'9" actress' weight has plummeted to a dangerously thin 109 pounds, and sources say it's stressing Brad to watch her go through depression and emotional turmoil without being able to help.

Angelina, who lost mother Marcheline Bertrand, whom she was very close to, to ovarian cancer last month "is not eating a lot and she's really quiet and reflective," a friend tells In Touch Weekly.

And, says the insider, Brad doesn't know how to help her, saying "he has never been through something this heavy. He has no idea what to say or do. Brad is scared that she's shut herself off from him emotionally."

Brad and Angelina are currently settling into their historical mansion in New Orleans. The frail Angelina was snapped the other day, flashing a rare smile as she held up baby Zahara so she could watch Mardi Gras revelers in the streets from the balcony of their new home.

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Christina Ricci's sugar diet

Petite indie actress Christina Ricci went on a sugar diet for weeks and weeks, to develop a pale, unhealthy look for her role as a nymphomaniac in new film Black Snake Moan.

Ricci says she got the perfect look for her character, Rae, by eating nothing but candy and raw sugar by the spoonful.

Says Ricci: "I wanted her to look really unhealthy and like someone who didn't take care of herself. Someone mentioned something about her looking like she's only been fed sugar her whole life, so I started to eat only sugar, basically nothing with nutritional value and it kind of worked because I look really unhealthy in the movie."

In related news about actors eating weird stuff to get ready for roles, Jared Leto ate nothing but pizza for weeks to plump up for his role as John Lennon assassin Mark David Chapman.

Says Jared: "You know, I don’t eat meat, so I would eat a large Dominoes pizza, every night for dinner. And then, it actually wasn’t any fun. Some people think 'Oh, it was enjoyable,' but I was force feeding myself to such an extent that I would throw up...every day."
Kiss, Kiss: Source Photo cred

Hearsay...

Owen Wilson, Kate Hudson go public - I'm Not Obsessed
Cute workout clothes - Lady Licorice
Drew Barrymore, Cam Diaz hit LAX together - TMZ
Shots of Daniel Radcliffe in Equus - DListed
Andy Lau is terrified of Mickey Mouse - Daily Dumpling
Anna Nicole to be buried next to son - Celeb Warship
Britney Spears rehab -- round three - Barbie Martini

Slash to pen tell-all book about touring days

Offbeat rebel and guitar maestro Slash is getting ready to dish up some tales from his touring days.

The legendary rocker, whose real name is Saul Hudson, is teaming up with ghostwriter Anthony Bozza, who worked with Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee, on putting together Lee's bio, Tommyland.

Publishing house HarperCollins struck the deal with